The world was supposed to end yesterday.

It didn’t.

I can’t say that I’m wholly disappointed. After all, I have a show opening tomorrow night. I put a hell of a lot of work into this and I’d have hated to go through all that for nothing. I have other things going on, too: a Blue Angels potluck on Saturday, a play reading on Tuesday, more performances next week. I’m busy.

So what is it with the “Christians”?

Why this constant obsession with – really longing for – the end of the world? Don’t they even have an episode of “The O’Reilly Factor” to look forward to on this earth? Don’t they have weddings and church socials and anti-LGBT protests in the works?

Apparently not.

Instead, they have this crazed focus on the implosion of society and the world at the hands of a vengeful – yet forgiving and unconditionally loving – God. They want the Last Days to arrive so they can Rapture their way out of here to the Promised Land.

This leads me to believe 1) they aren’t having a very good time and 2) living the oh-so-pious life isn’t making it any better. Life is a trial that we must all go through before Big Papa takes us Home and the good stuff begins.

(Tell me again how this is different from the Muslim fanatics who martyr themselves to get to those 72 virgins. Oh never mind.)

Rapture Survivor CardLIfe is hard. It doesn’t always work the way we want it to. Mine certainly doesn’t. But I’m looking for something better here and now. None of us knows what happens to us after we die. Some believe they do, and that’s great for them. But it’s not a known. It’s what Donald Rumsfeld used to call a “known unknown.” (Cripes, I’m quoting Donald Rumsfeld.) I sure would hate to spend this life praying and denying myself all kinds of pleasures trying to be “worthy” of the Big Payoff in the next life only to find out there is no next life.

Still the doomsayers persist. The eBible Fellowship (Admittedly, a pretty fringy-sounding group, though they aren’t alone.) said the world would end on May 21, 2011. It didn’t. Then they said it would absolutely happen yesterday. It didn’t. I’m sure they’ll come up with a new date and another and another. Maybe they’re overestimating God’s wrath, maybe they’re crazy, or maybe they’re playing a game. Who knows? (Another known unknown.)

As far back as I can remember, one of the staples of comedy has been the guy dressed like Jesus carrying around the sign that says “The End is Near.” He’d walk through cartoons and movies and Laugh-In episodes. It was funny. Not funny ha-ha, funny ridiculous. It’s still funny. It’s still funny because it’s still ridiculous.

Why do some people insist on being ridiculous?