Can I take a second to talk about The Gays?  (Of course I can.  It’s my blog.)

Now that the Righties and the CINOs (Christians in Name Only) are flipping out because we’re allowed to be Boy Scout Leaders*, I’m reminded of something that’s been a puzzle to me for quite some time.  

So the theory is that now that we can lead the boys in activities like building soap box derby cars and making neckerchief rings, we’ll seize on the opportunity to molest them en masse.  Suddenly no boy will be safe.  The sodomites (or Soddies, as I call us) will anally violate every Boy Scout, Cub Scout and Webelo in the country.  (By the time they become Eagle Scouts, they’ve surely earned their Homo Repelling Merit Badge, so they’ll be OK.)

Again, I have to ask why anyone who isn’t hysterical and basically nuts to start with would listen to these rants and not start backing away slowly until they get to safety.

My main problem with this lunacy is the same I had in the run-up to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  There again, the argument was that out and proud homosexuals would begin overpowering the weak and defenseless heterosexual soldiers, sailors and marines, either to simply assault them or to entice them into the sexual dark side.  At the very least, the mere presence of the homos would break down morale and ruin all branches of the service, leaving the US vulnerable to attacks from every foreign entity from Lichtenstein to China.

Let me point out two things:

  1. The arguments from the Right are always the same, irrespective of the situation at hand.  The general freak-out over integrating the armed forces and allowing women into combat were the same:  Destroy morale, make us vulnerable to attack, make the military a social experiment, bring on the end of the US and the world as we know it. Let’s not get caught up in whether being gay is the same as being black or being a woman coming into a battle situation.  That doesn’t matter.  What matters and what has always been lost in the discussion is that the arguments against never change – and that they’re always preposterous and wrong.  I haven’t noticed that the US has become a wasteland of broken dreams because non-whites and women are fighting for us, have you?
  2. Let’s stick with the military scenario.  Isn’t one of the first things men and women in uniform learn the value of the sneak attack?  If you have an objective – a hill, a bridge, an anus – to conquer, aren’t you most likely to succeed if the enemy – or the anus – has no idea it’s about to be invaded?  In other words, if we Gays were only joining the military to avail ourselves of the nubile sexual smorgasbord that is a military barracks, wouldn’t it be better if we WEREN’T open?  Wouldn’t it be better if no one knew we were there?  Wouldn’t it be better if we acted straight (yes, we can do that) and passed until the perfect moments when we could slide — Well, you get the picture.

As with the military, if we Gays only wanted to go through selection and training and more training and more training to reach leadership roles in order to fulfill our pedophilic desires, which we’d have been satisfying elsewhere for years and years without being caught, wouldn’t it be better if we did it under cover?  Couldn’t it be better if we kept our predilections and nefarious plans a secret from the boys we planned to abuse and their families – like priests?  Wouldn’t that be a smarter approach?

We Gays have been in the service forever and we’ve been in the Scouts forever.  I was a cub scout myself. (And my leaders asked me to cross-dress for a pack function, by the way.)  If we were going to do terrible things, we would have done them when we were invisible.  We wouldn’t have waited so we could stand on a hill, wave a rainbow flag and scream, “Yoo-hoo!  We’re going to have non-consensual sex with you.  Better grease up!”

Think about that and then think about the brave gay men and women who have given life and limb for this country rather than raping their fellows.  Think about the dedicated men who are so busy helping boys become strong, contributing members of society that they just don’t have time to sodomize them.

Think about it and realize that all the hollering and moaning about rampant butt sex is just a ruse by some very disturbed and stupid people.

*None of them is ever nearly as concerned about what women and girls do.  It’s just about the men and the boys. Hm. I wonder why.